Things are getting beter. Gram isnt flipping out as much anymore and im not thinking about chris as much. It still hurts sometimes. Missing him and all. I try to think about us hanging out and having a good time not me leaving to go back home. I dont think leaving this time will be as easy as it has been before. I really like him but there is nothing i can do if he doesnt like me back in the same way. All i can is accept it and be his friend. Hopefully everything works out for the best.

Wow, so ive been in Maine for 5 days now. Its been pretty hard with gram yelling and all. She just wont shut up, ever. I dont know anymore.... I went to work with Chris. Chris harrington. He is this guy I dated about 3 or 4 years ago. It was just a summer thing but when i saw him the other day my heart started pouding so hard i thought it was going to bounce out of my chest. I know it wont work, he has a gf and i live so far away but I dont know what it is about him. He made me laugh today, more than i have in a while. I mean it wasnt just a haha laugh either but a real laugh. I personally think he is cuter now than before. I dont really know what it is a feel, i dont know if its because i like him or if its because i might REALLY like him. I just cant stop thinking about him and i wish he was here with me right now. When im with him i feel safe. He isnt the best of driver, actually to any normal person he would be a crazy maniac but when im in the car with him i feel excited not scared. Ugh i need help. I always fall for the guys i cant have. And the guys that dont want me. He told me today I was just a good friend and he didnt like me anymore. Hey, its fine. Id rather be something than nothing. Ane he is a good friend, i know hes there if and when i need him. I just wish i could get him out of my head. No i dont, i love thinking about him. I do, i really do but somethimes its just too much. Wanting something you cant have. Whatever im going to go do something else. Anything. Bye sweetie.
<3

So, I see that tomorrow never came. Nither will today. [I dont remember what I waas going to say.] Tomorrow im leaving for Maine though. Will be back home in 2 months. Im so happy to be getting a vaca. I have to go now but ill write soon. I promise.
<3

Its been a while, I know. Been busy. Im too tired and not in the mood to write tonight. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

Swwetdreams. <3